You Shattered Me, Now It's My Turn
by m.k.wright
Summary: Set after New Moon, Edward leaves Bella and doesn't come back. She decides to take matters into her own hands,, First fic, review please : Warnings for suicide and for OOC characters! **DISCONTINUED**
1. Bella

Edward Cullen.  
Your name is one that I never wanted to hear throughout the rest of my existence.  
YOU are the reason I am here,  
The reason I am broken.  
My name is Bella Swan.  
Three years,  
two months,  
six days,  
and fourteen hours have passed since my world was split in two.  
Do you have any idea what you did to me?  
You broke me, everything about me.  
You said you would take my soul if you changed me,  
But when you left, it was shattered anyway.  
Never to be revived.  
My spirit was ripped from my body;  
Your words cut me like a thousand knives Piercing my not-quite-numb heart.  
The stabbing doesn't stop.  
Ever.  
I will be sure that you will remember me.

I set the letter on the coffee table in the living room of the Cullen house. I then surveyed my surroundings, taking one last look at the place that used to be my second home. It held so many memories, many of them too painful to think about. As the piercing began to return, my mind returned to the task at hand. I grabbed my duffel bag and headed upstairs to Edward's bedroom.

Once I was in Edward's room, I smiled. I began to unpack my duffel bag, laying my supplies on Edward's bed. I had a small plastic bowl, a large butcher knife, and a quart jar filled with a red liquid, smelling faintly of rust and salt. I poured the contents of the jar into the plastic bowl, reveling in the smell of my own blood. I stuck my hand in the bowl and began my work.

An hour or so passed, and then I was done. I stood back and admired my work. It was gruesome and cruel, everything I had hoped it would be. I had proceeded to paint the walls in a medley of words directed at Edward: You hurt me, Edward. You will pay. You got what you wanted, here is my soul. I was shattered when you left, and now it's my turn.

I began laughing as I thought of Edward's reaction to my limp body laying on his bed, my words staining his walls as well as his heart. I eagerly lay myself down on the bed, and I laughed even more as I plunged the butcher knife into the numb hole where my heart was hidden, deep and unable to feel. 


	2. Alice

PART I

Alice POV

_*Sigh* _I hated Alaska. Where Tanya lived there wasn't a mall within a hundred miles, and even if there was, everyone would be too bummed out to go anywhere. Edward was projecting his emotions onto everyone else, with or without Jasper's help.

Ever since we had left Forks, every single one of us (except for Rosalie..) missed Bella Swan more than words could describe. She was a sister and a best friend to me. I hadn't had a best friend in years, maybe not even since my human life, even though I didn't recall any of that. The closest thing I had was Jasper. Rose was my sister and we tolerated each other but weren't as close as I would have liked to be. When we lost Forks, I lost my favorite Barbie doll. I didn't have anyone to play dress-up on because nobody here would listen to me. _Stupid pixie_, they would say.

Leaving Bella had torn our family apart. Edward was isolating himself, hunting when he needed to and wallowing in his room at all other times. Even though he wasn't around us, his emotions were as clear as if he were in the same room. Jasper and I had grown more distant; He blamed himself for the events that had transpired since he tried to attack Bella. I tried to tell him that it wasn't his fault, that Edward would have made us leave at another time. He tried his best not to be around me; His emotions were thrust at me whenever our gazes connected and I felt that we were growing farther and farther apart every second of every day.

Rosalie was normal as always, giving off the impression that she could have cared less whether Bella lived or died. She always said that the pathetic human (her words, not mine) was damaging our family and threatening to expose our secret so it was best that we had left her. Emmett wasn't joking anymore. There wasn't anyone to play pranks on, for one. He had always thought of Bella as a little sister, someone he could mess around with, someone that got his sense of humor, unlike Rose. He moped around whenever she was mentioned, which happened often because someone would try and relieve the tension by attempting to climb this mountain and be done with it. We all knew that would not be the case.

Esme was mourning Bella as though she had lost another daughter, as was Carlisle. Each one of us was separating ourselves from the rest of us, slowly drifting apart like icebergs in the cold ocean that surrounded us.

I was thinking of all of this as I suddenly felt myself begin to have a vision.

Bella was sitting in Edward's room, writing on his walls with her own blood. Once she finished, she laughed and lay on his bed. She admired her work, and smiled as she thought of what she planned to do next. She picked up the knife from her bag, and thrust it into her heart, ending her life once and for all.

I gasped loudly. _No no no no no. This can't be happening. Maybe it hasn't happened yet, maybe we can stop this._ My mind was racing as I began planning a course of action. I had to tell someone first, I'd tell Jasper.

I found him and ran into his arms, hysterical.

"I had a vision - She's going to kill herself, Jazz! Bella's going to kill herself because of what we did. I need to save her, I need to stop this from happening." I rambled on and on, finally asking Jasper to tell the rest of the family, for I needed the greatest head start I could get. He agreed and looked at me with a mixture of pity, compassion, and longing in his eyes. He wanted her to be saved, wanted her to be okay; He didn't want his _sister_ to die. I nodded quickly as I packed my bag and began my journey back to the place I used to call home.

PART II

I had finally reached our old house and, running full speed, ran right through the door, which had shattered with a loud crack. I smelled the strong scent of Bella's blood, and it stopped me in my tracks. I could sense my eyes turn black, and the thirst began to overwhelm me. I pushed it to the back of my mind the best that I could and held my breath as I ran up the stairs.

I was absolutely _floored _by the sight that had met me once I reached Edward's bedroom. The walls were painted with blood, even more than in my vision, and my _beautiful sister_ was laying on the bed, covered in her own blood as her heart felt its final beats.

Scarred, I ran outside of the room and let my self collapse against the wall outside _the_ _room._ I slid down to the floor and began to be filled with convulsing, tearless sobs. I allowed the feelings of despair and utter grief to overtake me, just as I heard the others entering the house.


	3. Edward

**A/N: Hey all! This _is_ my first fanfic so nothing TOO harsh, kay? I wanted to thank all of my reviewers and also JK5959 and simplyAlicexo for encouraging me to turn this into more than just a one-shot(: Please review please, every one counts and I love you all!!**

Edward POV

I had just returned from hunting and walked into the family room. Jasper was emitting large waves of concern and sadness, while Alice was in hysterics. She ran past me, not even acknowledging that I was there. I looked questioningly at Jasper and searched his mind; I found him translating the dictionary into German. I walked into my room, still wondering what had made Alice run like that… For one instant, Jasper let his guard slip. All I saw was one person in his thoughts, the woman that I had loved, the woman that I had left three years ago.

_Bella._

**No.** I chanted that word over and over in my head until it sounded like a sound, one without meaning, worthless. I collapsed on the floor my body overcome with terror, grief, and hurt. Why wouldn't Alice tell me if she'd had a vision about Bella? _I_ was the one who loved her, shouldn't I _naturally_ be the first to know?

Jasper must have sensed my emotions as I collapsed, for he came in my room with an expression of sheer panic on his face.

"E.. Edward. You need to calm down, okay? I need to tell you something and if you are not calm, you might make a decision that will affect all of us wrongly, okay?" Jasper stammered, stumbling over his words for the first time in his life. I tried to relax, probably giving myself false hope.

"What did Alice see, and why did she tell you and not me?" I said, feeling face.

Undeterred by the fact that I knew Alice had a vision, Jasper steadied himself and began.

"Alice _did_ have a vision, and it did involve Bella." I tensed. "She.. She saw something that she may be too late to fix. Bella was at our old house and she wrote a letter to you. She put it on the coffee table and went to your room. She then .." Jasper stopped as I began shaking. "Calm down, okay? I'm not quite finished." Jasper advised, then resumed his story.

"She wrote all over your walls and your old things in her own… in her own _blood_. In the vision, _in the vision, Edward, we don't know if she went through with it_, she stabbed herself in the heart, leaving herself for you to find. Alice went to prevent it. From what she saw of the contents of the letter, Bella would not want you there," Jasper finished in a whisper, waiting for my reaction.

"I need to see her Jazz, I need to make sure she's okay," I said in a small, yet determined voice.

"I know, Edward. We can go now if you'd like but I need to alert the rest of the family." Jasper reassured me as we stepped into the family room.

"Everyone, we need your immediate attention," Jasper spoke, barely loud enough for everyone to hear, even with their vampire abilities. Four vampires silently made their way into the room, sensing that the matter at hand was of great importance.

Jasper relayed the same story that he had told me to the rest of the family. By the end, everyone had expressions of shock, pain, and overwhelming need to protect her on their faces.

"Edward and I were about to leave and we knew that the _majority of you_," He said, glaring at Rosalie, who looked somewhat bored, "Would like to come with us to ensure that our favorite human is safe."

Rosalie glared right back at him, but reluctantly came along when they started running out of the house at vampire speed. I, being the fastest, reached the house first, and stopped right at the door, almost causing a train wreck of sorts. The scent of her blood hit me full force, and my thirst returned even though I had already hunted that day. My eyes darkened to an onyx color, for I heard a faint, dying heartbeat. My heart soared! I could save her! I could _change_ her and I could save my one true love. I forgot everything that Jasper had said about a letter and about her not wanting me there as I raced upstairs to do the deed before anyone could change my mind.

I found Alice slumped against a wall outside my room. Her thoughts were nothing, she was blank. Apparently she was too far in her own despair to notice me make the decision to change Bella, because she let me pass as if nothing were wrong. The rest of my family had stayed downstairs or outside to get away from the smell and to give me some privacy.

If I thought that the smell of the blood downstairs was bad, I was completely unprepared for this. My room was coated with her words and drawings. I paid no attention to any of it as to try and forget my thirst as I stepped towards Bella. She lay in a pool of her own blood, a kitchen knife through her heart.

I concentrated as hard as I possibly could on the task at hand I bit into Bella's wrist, not even registering the flow of her blood into my mouth, when her scream of agony started.

The rest of my family, besides Jasper and Alice, was in my room immediately and saw blood dripping out of the corner of my mouth. Carlisle's face depicted shock and rage.

"Edward, can't you see that she didn't want you? That she didn't want to be with you anymore because of what you did to her? **Look at the walls, Edward. Read her letter to you,**" Carlisle said calmly, handing me the letter.

I opened it cautiously and began to read. She had told me she didn't want me and I had just forced her into an eternity of the hell she had been through. Her screams continued. I had one last thought before I collapsed to the ground for the second time that day…

_What have I done?_

**A/N: So.. Yea =] Does anyone have any suggestions of about how Rosalie's POV should go? I'm kinda brain dead on that one.. Also! Any ideas as to whether I could take it somewhere else after all of the POV chapters? Reviews matter!! pm me if you have any suggestions, I take each one into consideration! I love you all even though I have said that already. Review!**


	4. Jasper

**A/N: OMYGOSH!! I have ****nine**** reviews. That may not be a lot to those of you experienced writers but to me, a lowly, first-time fanfic writer, it is **_**ah-mazing.**_** I love you all! Thanks to everyone who reviewed and added me to their alerts or favorites list. I love you all soooo unbelievably much! You make me feel special, *sob* tear of happiness!! Review again please, Jasper's POV this time.**

**Disclaimer That I Forgot In The Past Few Chapters: I DO NOT own Twilight. If I did, Edward would never have left.**

Jasper POV

I could not believe what Alice had just told me. Bella was in even more danger than when we had left, and the danger was within her. And the little pixie left _me_ to tell Edward. Darn Alice. I knew that it couldn't have happened any other way, she had been the only one to see the vision, after all.

I sighed as Edward came in from hunting. I immediately put up my guard, trying to keep him out of my thoughts. He went into his room, and I accidentally let my mind slip. He took a single thought from my mind, a glimpse, yet he knew that something was wrong. I went in to him and explained that_ yes, there was something I needed to tell him_ and that I needed him to calm down first.

Once he was sitting calmly on his bed, I sensed a feeling of false hope running through him. It was as though he knew it wasn't real, and that something very bad was happening, but he wouldn't allow himself to believe it. I barely restrained myself from yelling at him, telling him that he couldn't always run away from or deny his problems. I didn't know how to begin without him getting up and running out of the room, so for the first time in my life, living or dead, I was struggling for words. Edward began and confirmed that he knew Alice had had a vision. Waves of hurt were rolling off of him in bucketfuls. He didn't understand why she told me and not him.

"Alice _did_ have a vision, and it _did_ involve Bella," I began. I noticed that the hurt changed to despair as soon as I had said Bella's name. I informed him that she wrote a letter to him and she went up to his room. At this point, Edward was visibly shaking, and I could feel his emotions beginning to affect me. "Calm down, okay? I'm not quite finished." I needed Edward to rid himself of the despair, hurt, and sheer pain so that I continue telling him about the vision without breaking down into tearless sobs.

"She..She wrote on the walls and on your own things in her own _blood_." Edward's calm faltered, and I was hit with a shock wave of emotion. I mentally reassured Edward that we didn't know if it actually happened yet. "Once she finished, she stabbed herself in the heart, leaving her body for you to find. Alice went to prevent it. From what she saw of the contents of the letter, Bella would not want you there," I finished in a whisper, feeling like the meanest creature on the planet, after blatantly relaying the possible death of brother's true love to him.

"I need to see her, Jazz. I need to make sure she's okay," Edward said in a small voice. His voice was steady, but his eyes betrayed his emotions. I could feel myself beginning to panic about her as well. Edward's feelings were really rubbing off on me. I knew that we needed to inform the remaining family members of what was going on, as they would most likely want to come with us. I called everyone into the family room and explained the situation. I tried to keep myself calm and collected but it was hard with everyone's emotions rolling towards me in endless waves. Carlilse and Esme were grieving, but they were calm on the outside. Emmett looked like he was about to cry, vampire or not, and Rosalie looked bored, though her emotions betrayed her. She was emitting jealousy, and even more surprisingly, guilt. Why would Rosalie feel guilty? My question was left unanswered as the six of us ran outside into the woods towards our old home.

Edward was naturally the fastest, so he reached the house first. He stopped at the door, nearly causing everyone to bump into the person in front of them. The scent of her blood hit us full force, and a thirst as I had never felt in my life reared its head. I saw Alice slumped against a wall upstairs. I held my breath as I ran to her. I cradled her unmoving, grief-filled figure in my arms and ran away from the house. Once we were outside of the house, a piercing scream of agony filled the air. I nearly fell to the ground as the pain hit me. Alice began to sob, she had seen what had caused that scream.

"Alice, what happened?" I said. She shook her head and continued to sob. "Alice," I said forcefully, shaking her shoulders, "What happened, Why is Bella screaming?"

"Edward," She whispered, "He bit her. He changed her to a vampire and the transformation has begun." Her voice was barely a whisper, a sound undetectable to human ears. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I was happy that Bella would be one of us, but I certainly did not want it to be under these circumstances. What if she didn't want us? What if she couldn't control her thirst as a newborn with our diet? My mind was racing as I heard Carlisle yelling at Edward in the house. I ran upstairs with Alice in my arms, just as Edward collapsed to the floor. We moved him to another bed in the house, and he lay there, unmoving, for the next day and a half.

Rosalie also locked herself in her room for half of the transformation. Later, as I passed her door, I heard her sobbing, guilt shooting from her like electricity. I entered her room cautiously.

"Rose?" I said. She looked up at me with wide eyes and ran into her bathroom, attempting to barricade herself against the outside world.


	5. Author's Note

This isn't a chapter, just a heads-up to all of my readers. I'm really sorry about this, but I don't have any inspiration for this story anymore. PM me if you would like. There's a small chance I might continue it, but I doubt it. So for now, I'm discontinuing it. Sorry guys! I will be posting some other stuff though, so I would appreciate it if you would put me on author alert.

Thanks again, and sorry,

-MoreThanMeetsTheEye


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